


I Still Love You

by patdbrendonn



Series: PATD & MCR One Shots [9]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Arguing, Birth Control, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Married Couple, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patdbrendonn/pseuds/patdbrendonn
Summary: Mikey finds out he is pregnant with his and Ray's child. But there's a slight problem; They never wants kids.





	I Still Love You

 

Mikey knew this was going to end up like this. He knew that after two days of missing his birth control, having sex with his husband who didn't know, he knew he fucked up. He knew after he had felt nauseous before breakfast one morning. But Mikey wouldn't dare say anything to Ray, he would freak out. I don't want kids. I don't like 'em. They just take up space. Mikey had to agree with his husband of five years. He didn't like children, either. The only child he has grown to love is Gerard's daughter. But she's not Mikey's kid, he doesn't have to take care of her. 

Mikey sat on the bathroom floor, his knees against his chest as he held the test in his hand. The positive pregnancy tests that just showed that his suspicions were right. The vomiting. The fatigue. The smells. He knew all of them were signs of pregnancy. And now, well, he knows his life is over. His marriage is over. He is over. Him and the person he loves made a child that neither of them will and ever want. 

"Mikes?" His eyes widened as he heard Ray's voice on the other side of the door. "Are you okay? You've been in there for a while." Mikey quickly wiped any tears away and shoved the test in his pocket, standing up and opening the door. 

"I'm fine, honey." Mikey sighed out, slowly making eye contact with his lover. 

"You don't seem fine," Ray rose his hand and placed it softly on Mikey's forehead. "-And you don't feel warm. Are you tired? Hungry? I could make you something to eat-"

"I said I'm fine!" Mikey snapped, tears beginning to form once again. "I said I'm fine! Fucking listen to me for once, Raymond! God!" Mikey stormed off, leaving Ray standing in front of the bathroom door, his eyes wide as he tried to process what had happened. His whole body shook when the bedroom door slammed, harder than he ever could. Ray sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked through the house and into the kitchen, resting his arms against the marble countertop as he leaned forward. He shut his eyes as hard as he could, not wanting himself to cry, but in reality, Ray was scared and confused why Mikey has been acting this way. He's always yelling, always sad; depressed even. Ray know's something's not right, but every time he tries to ask what is wrong, he gets yelled at and his husband doesn't talk to him for the rest of the day. 

Then, there it was, the soft footsteps down the hallway. Ray turned around to see Mikey, his back slouched and his cheeks covered in tears. Ray quickly walked over to him, wrapping his arms around the small-framed man. 

"I'm worried about you, baby." Ray sighed. 

"I know..." Mikey let a sob leave his chest, leaning his head onto Ray's shoulder. "But-but you're going to hate m-me..." Ray pulled away, his hands cupping Mikey's face softly. They looked at each other for some time, Ray slightly smiling. 

"I will never hate you, Mikey. Never in my entire life could I ever hate you. You are the man who has saved my life. I will never hurt you, never harm you, or even leave you. If I did, I know if I was on my own, and not with you, I wouldn't be able to go on." He said softly. "You know you are my light. Why would you say I will hate you?" Mikey's eyes trailed down, his feet kicking at the ground a bit. 

"I-" The words got stuck in Mikey's throat, almost like he was being choked. Ray waited, his grip loosening and moving to Mikey's shoulders. "I-I'm... Pregnant." Ray stood still, watching Mikey break down. He wiggled out of Ray's grasp, covering his mouth as he ran back to the bathroom. Ray followed, sighing as Mikey slammed the door again. He opened it, seeing Mikey crying into a pillow. 

"Mikes..." Ray slowly walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed. He placed his hand on the small of Mikey's back, rubbing slightly. "Hey, baby, don't cry..."

"But you never wanted kids! I never wanted kids!" Mikey yelled as he rolled over. "We never wanted fucking kids!" 

"Well... Doesn't mean we aren't going to end up with one." Ray sighed. "We have to do this together. I am going to be right here, holding your hand as we hit every milestone in the pregnancy. Gerard did it. We can do it. Gerard was even alone. But you stepped up for your brother and helped him get through. I have to help you, and I know Gerard will, too." Mikey nodded. Memories of three years ago flooded his mind, getting the call from Gerard as he cried, saying that he was in a car accident, how Frank didn't make it, and more importantly, that's how Gerard found out he was three weeks pregnant. The only thing Mikey felt he could do was to help his older brother, helping him prepare the house, taking Frank's stuff out little by little, and helping Gerard build a nursery. Then when the little bugger, Frankie, arrived, Gerard couldn't be happier. A little girl to call his own. Francine Abigail Iero. "Look at Frankie. Look how cute she is. And she looks exactly like Gee. Too much, those faces she makes when she's pouting looks like someone pasted his face onto hers. But what if our baby looks like you? We know that you 'Ways' always have kids who look like you. I think it's going to be fine." 

***

"You're what?" Gerard said blankly, Frankie bouncing in his arms. Mikey nodded, looking at his little niece. "Holy shit... Holy shit! Mikey, I'm going to cry!" Gerard laughed, putting Frankie down and running over to his little brother, taking him in a hug. "I thought you and Ray didn't want kids?"

"Trust me, we weren't trying!" Mikey sighed. "I ran out of my birth control and I forgot to tell Ray so he didn't, you know."

"Frankie, you're going to have a new friend!" Gerard cheered, Frankie, looking confused at her father. "Cousin! You're going to have a little cousin!" 

"Where's cousin?" She asked, standing up. Mikey smiled, placing a hand on his stomach. 

"In my tummy. And it's going to grow bigger and bigger until one day the baby comes out of my tummy!" Frankie smiled, walking over and placing her hand on top of Mikey's, which made Gerard almost cry. 

"Boy or girl?" Frankie asked with a smile. 

"We won't know for a few months.. After your birthday." Gerard replied. She nodded, taking Mikey's hand away and pulling his shirt up. "You love your cousin."

"I do." She smiled, rubbing her fingers around Mikey's skin. "I love my cousin."

***

Ray held a firm grip on Mikey's hand as the sonographer pressed the ultrasound probe onto Mikey's small bump, moving it around to each side of his torso. He smiled, watching the screen and seeing black and white. He didn't know what was what, but he knew his kid was in there, and that's all that matters. 

"Wait... Hold on-" Mikey looked up, his eyes filled with fear as the sonographer quickly moved the probe. "Michael, can you lay on your right side please?" He nodded, turning onto his side, facing Ray. Ray sighed, bending down and placing his lips on Mikey's cheek. "Ah.. Okay. You can roll back to your back if you want." Mikey slowly rolled back, looking at the sonographer. 

"Is everything okay?" He asked with fear shaking his voice. 

"Very. In fact, you're having twins!" Mikey felt like his heart stopped. He doesn't want two fucking babies, he doesn't even really want one. 

"Two. Two kids? Are you sure?" Ray asked. She nodded, looking at the screen with a sigh. 

"I am... There are definitely two fetuses. I'm going to send these scans back to your doctor so you guys could make a birth plan." Mikey sat up, trying to think how he's going to carry two 9-pound babies. At once. Once they were okay to leave, Mikey just held Ray's hand, now trying to think of ways they can bring up two babies at once. 

"It's going to be okay, Mikes," Ray said softly. "We can do this. It's going to be a hard road, but we can do it."

***

It was like something Mikey's never felt before. His hands ran over his stomach as he sat on Gerard's couch, feeling the first of many small kicks for a few months. He smiled a bit, causing Gerard to move next to him and place his hand on Mikey's bump. 

"Feels amazing, doesn't it?" Gerard asked. Mikey nodded, feeling a few more little kicks. "When I felt Frankie's first kicks I... I knew that everything was going to be okay. I knew that I was wasn't going to be alone. And looking back, the day I lost Frank, I wouldn't want to not have my baby girl. But it killed me knowing that Frank never knew about her. Never knew that we were going to have a beautiful baby girl." He smiled a bit. "But the kicks... After they start, they don't stop. So get used to it." 

"I'm going to have double what you had." Mikey looked at Gerard, realizing that Gerard didn't know about the twins. "Ray and I are having twins." 

"What?" Mikey nodded. "Oh my god! Mikes, that's amazing!" Gerard yelled. Mikey shrugged, looking at his bump. "Two babies! Trust me, you'll fall in love with them the second they leave your body." He grabbed Mikey's hand, holding it firmly. "You guys will be able to do it. I don't doubt anything."

***

Mikey held the papers in his hand, reading over and over how his birth is going to go. He was relieved when his doctor heavily suggested a c-section. He wasn't willing to push two babies out back-to-back. Ray didn't blame him at all and was more on board when Mikey said he wanted to be awake during the procedure. But, of course, if Mikey goes into labour before the surgery date, they do not feel like they need to do an emergency C-section and Mikey will have to give birth naturally. He didn’t want that. Ray didn’t want that, either. But sometimes you can’t control your children. 

He was scared to have to possibly have surgery. To have to have that scar across his stomach, he didn’t want that at all. It was a huge thing in his head to have a scar from the kids he doesn’t even want. And of course, while Mikey is hiding his emotions from Ray, Ray decides to go shopping and leave Mikey alone.

Mikey ended up in the bathroom, holding a blade in between his fingers. He debated for a good six minutes until he brought the metal to his skin, pressing down firmly and tearing at his skin. Almost immediately he regretted what he’d just done. But yet, he kept on going. The terrible habit he did as a teenager is now coming back to flood his reality. It stung. It burned. It hurt to watch droplets of blood falling to the ground. And what hurt more, is when Mikey looked to the door to see Ray standing there. 

“M-Mikes…” Ray quickly took the blade from Mikey’s fingertips, placing it on the counter as he sat Mikey down on the ground. Mikey balled, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to look at Ray. “Baby, hey, look at me.” Mikey slowly looked at his husband. “Please… Don’t do this… You don’t need to cut yourself. I’m here.” Ray said as he took out some gause from the first aid kit. Mikey felt ashamed. He felt like he didn’t even deserve Ray. 

“I-I’m sorry…” 

“It’s okay, honey… Just don’t do this ever again. If I’m gone and you feel like you need to cut, just call me. I’ll get home as soon as I can and we’ll talk about it. You’re not alone. You don’t need to feel worthless. I love you too much to see you like this.” Ray slightly smiled up at Mikey. “Let’s go to Gerard’s house… He knows how you feel.” Mikey sighed as he was pulled up to his feet, practically being dragged out of the house. 

***

“I fucking hate this…” Mikey cursed. Gerard sat next to him, both playing cards. “I don’t want to be pregnant. I feel fucking fat all the time, my joints hurt, and my back is always aching. And what about my mood swings? Those are making me fight with Ray.” Gerard placed his cards down and looked Mikey in the eye, sighing a bit. 

“I know where you’re coming from… You remember how depressed I got. I hated my body… I mean, I still do, but I don’t hate it as much as I did when I was pregnant. Especially towards the end. God, the stretch marks… I’m still covered in them. Fuck, I have them on my arms!” 

“What are you getting at?” Mikey asked. 

“It’s all worth it. In five months you and Ray are going to be holding your babies. The babies you two created. I still can’t fathom how we can make fucking human beings. And I know your kids will be beautiful… You’re going to be an amazing father. You’re already an amazing brother, an amazing husband, and an amazing uncle. I have no doubt about it. Once your kids are born, you’ll understand.”

***

It felt like everything was getting harder for Mikey. Even walking seemed like a task you’d do once in your life and then give up because how hard it seemed. And his bump, it doesn’t even compare to how big Gerard was when he was pregnant. Sure, Mikey’s pregnant with  _ twins _ , Gerard only had Frankie. And from sitting next to Gerard as he cried and pushed, Mikey doesn’t want to do that with two fucking bodies. Well, I think you can guess what happened. 

It was five in the morning when Mikey woke up to the sharp pain in his lower back. He didn’t think much of it, to be honest, he’s been having bad back pains for over a month now. But it’s when his stomach cramped up, causing him to sit up to even try to breath. 

“Ray- fuck, get up,” He said softly, nudging Ray’s back with his elbow. Ray sighed out, turning to look at Mikey. “Fuck- I think they’re coming.” Ray slowly sat up, rubbing his hand through his hair as he looked at Mikey. 

“Okay… I’ll call Gerard. You just hang tight, okay? Try to breathe and not think about it much.” Mikey nodded, his hands glued to his stomach as he rubbed soothingly. Ray grabbed his phone, the screen giving a tint of light to the room. He placed his phone to his ear, grabbing one of Mikey’s hands. “Hey, it’s Ray,” Ray smiled a bit at Mikey as he rubbed his thumb on the back of his hand. “Yeah, we think he’s going into labour… What about Frankie?” Mikey sighed. He totally forgot about her. “How about you drop her off at my mom’s? I’m sure she’ll understand, this is her first grandchild, after all.” 

***

It was a relief that Gerard was finally with Mikey. To have someone that actually knows what is happening to your body, even before you get to the hospital. The hospital bed wasn’t even comfortable, more or less when you’re in labour. 

“I want these fuckers out of me!” Mikey yelled, feeling Gerard dab some sweat off of his forehead. Ray’s keeping his distance for now, he knows if he says anything his tongue will get ripped out. 

“I know, I know… You’re already seven centimeters dilated… It won’t be long now, Mikey.” Boy, he was right. In less than an hour, Mikey was getting ready to push. The pain was practically unbearable, feeling two little bodies squirming around, trying to fight their way out of Mikey’s body. 

He pushed for a good four minutes non-stop, even when the doctors told him not to, he did. The first cry filled the room, Mikey looking quickly at Ray before trying to look at the baby. 

“It’s a girl!” The doctor cheered before passing the baby to a nurse, looking at Mikey as he let out a cry. 

Baby number two arrived three minutes later, letting Mikey to finally get a break from pain. And actually, this baby was too a girl. They decided to name them Mia and Sophia. Mia Elise and Sophia Hope. 

And three years later they became big sisters. To triplets.


End file.
